I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
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