I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
