I can tuck mytits in my pants
seriously i just wanna be friends
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
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i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
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Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...