Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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