Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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