You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
