is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
