Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
