How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
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sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
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We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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