Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
