I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
