i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Someone shattered a urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize