with your own penis?
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize