The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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