So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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