I wannas sexs uuuuu
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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