Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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