Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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