It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
