I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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