His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
