Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
