I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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