Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
