Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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