Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize