Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
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My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
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I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
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