One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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