as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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