my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize