I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
