Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I love having hate sex.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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