Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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