Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize