You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
