I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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