i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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