In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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