There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize