I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
