Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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