Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
