I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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