coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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