paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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