So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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