You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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