I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
