We're facebook friends in real life
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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