Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
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Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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